Reader hygiene

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There is no reason the current crisis should disrupt your reading habits. Here are six rules to keep every reader healthy and calm:

1. Avoid licking your index finger when turning the pages of your book when you’re outside. Actually, avoid licking your fingers altogether.

2. Keep your secrets secret, your cards close to your chest and the book even closer to your face to avoid contamination. If you don’t have a surgical mask and you’re next to an infected person, the book may be your only hope.

3. Hoard books, not toilet paper. If it comes to universal self-isolation, you’ll get bored more often than the times you’ll need to go to the toilet. Invest wisely, plan accordingly.

4. Carry a book with you at all times while outside. This way, you’ll avoid touching infected surfaces.

5. Following from rule no 4, persuade other book-carrying individuals to offer the spinal salute: similar to the elbow salute which has taken over the world, the spinal salute involves touching books at their spine. The thicker the book, the more vigorous the salutation.

6. Seek breathtaking books as you are less likely to inhale contaminated droplets in the air. Through suspense and breathtaking beauty, a book may reduce the chances of infection. The less you breathe, the better.

And above all, stay safe, keep calm and read on.

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