When we look back on our past, it may appear to us as a pile-up of our own illusions of different size, shape and colour… Once vivid and beautiful, they are now dead and ugly in their remoteness from reality. This reality has been opening up to us in bits, as the illusions – its pale reflections on the pieces of stained glass – were being cast away one by one.
Once disappointed, people tend to blame the reality for not corresponding to their own images. Or, which seems far more reasonable, blaming their own illusions for not corresponding to the reality.
Having once felt the blow of a sudden disenchantment, they find themselves in a desperate need for a shield. What can be a more suitable shield against disenchantment than indifference – this never failing killer of emotions and hopes? A perfect shield with a pain-soothing moto ‘I don’t care’ written across it.
‘I don’t care. Whatever happens, I don’t care. Whatever hopes I have, I don’t care, whether they come true or not. Whatever feelings I have, I can easily tear them out from my soul. And if they have penetrated into its every part, well I can tear my soul out as well’.
O Lord, let us never be tempted to choose the shield of indifference instead of the shield of Faith! Let us never mistake a grave for a shelter! They may look so similar at times…